as I mentioned some posts ago, I’m supposed to move to London at the beginning of July. On the last weeks I’ve joined Facebook groups, read a lot of blog posts about what to do, how to find a job, do the NIN, etc, to basically organise myself, write a nice and detailed list of everything I need, like the control freak I am, and be ready to everything I have to deal with once arrived.
Therefore, I should be prepared, I should be excited, but I’m realizing that I’m not – well, not as I was before – and I don’t know if it’s fear of failure or disappointment or just a feeling, silently screaming in the back of my mind, that I shouldn’t move. I should already have bought the airplane ticket, but every time I visit Ryanair’s website, the price is higher, but I don’t have the courage to buy it.
I should, I should, I shouldn’t.
I applied on Saturday to what it seems a very cool “Creative and Editorial Internship” in Berlin, and I’ve been checking my e-mail all the time during the day to see if they answered. I don’t know if it comes from the fact that I love Berlin, the job seems pretty interesting, or that I already know the city and friends in it so it’s like a comfortable and easy solution, my Linus’ blanket. And I am terribly scared of Linus’ blanket solutions.
Anyway, they haven’t replied yet, and I think I’ll surrender and buy a ticket for London if they don’t reply until Friday.
My departure should be on the 8th or 9th, and it’s just 17 days from now. I don’t know what to do, and on the top of that, dealing with finals and work is just making my head explode.
I should’ve called this blog I don’t know what to do with my life, because I’m totally sure that’s the phrase I have thought and written the most in this blog’s short but intense life.
See? Again: I should.
P.S.: I’m deeply sorry if my constant indecisiveness annoys you.