Real Women?

After a while the curvy phenomenon emerged (I talked about it here) I started noticing the reverse flow: people now were insulting/degrading thinness. It was absurd, I thought.
It was the same shaming process, just with a different target.

Even a popular song that was in every radio (I know you know it) was transmitting the same message:

I’m bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that

Seems familiar? Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass”, at first listening a body acceptance anthem, is actually not body-positive at all.

Candice Huffine

There was another expression I continued to read: real women. Curvy women were real women.
What did it mean? Were thin women false, abstract, immaginary, unreal?
I cannot believe I have to write something so obvious, but:
Every woman is a real woman because every woman is real.
The concept of “reality” does not stand on the kilos signed on your scale.

Candice Huffine

Again, the good intent of valuing curvy bodies – is it okay to call them like that? – had gone too far away from the original aim, becoming another black or white, curvy vs thin battle where one opponent had to go down.

As a curvy young woman who hated her body until she was 20 and was bullied because “fat”, “whale”, from kindergarten to high school, I felt good because I could see more women like me on ads, magazines, but I felt also terribly because, somewhere, someone else was insulted.
And that is never fair.

The wave of  comments and blog posts “curvy vs thin: which is better” disappeared from the spotlights some months ago, but it is a universal tide that will continue to come back.

I’m going to leave you with a video that deeply moves me every time I watch it, by the glorious Mary Lambert,

and with a hint: you can find My Mad Fat Diary also on Youtube ;)
First season 6 episodes, Second season 7 episodes, Third season coming out this summer.
I know I’ve recommended you MMFD other times, but you really have to watch it. It is my legacy.

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14 thoughts on “Real Women?

  1. Concordo pienamente con quello che dici. Anche io detesto il termine “vera donna” oltre che odio profondamente il “body shaming” (di cui son stata vittima per anni ed il peggiore aguzzino che avevo ero io stessa). Penso anche che ognuno ha il sacrosanto diritto di amarsi per com’è ma anche di cambiare se non si piace. In realtà non si ha scelta, se sei grasso e vuoi dimagrire sei etichettato come una persona che non si piace e che non si accetta, se sei magro e ti piaci sei un pazzo anoressico, se sei magro e non ti piaci sei pazzo perché sei perfetto e puoi indossare tutto quello che ti pare, se sei grasso e ti piaci in realtà sei pigro e non vuoi dimagrire. Insomma che dobbiamo fare? Onestamente preferisco giudicare ed apprezzare una persona per quello che è, come pensa e cosa dice, piuttosto che soffermarmi a pensare a quanto piccole siano le sue tette, a come le sue coscie potrebbero essere come il mio braccio o il fatto che abbia un sederone.

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  2. There’s a company always advertising on tv that sells clothes in sizes 12 up for ‘real women’ and that always makes me laugh. Also I totally agree, My Mad Fat Diary is absolutely hilarious. Can’t wait for the next season!

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  3. I just wish this body acceptance stuff was around while I was overweight. All women are real women. We don’t need to speak negatively of one group of people to build up another. Let’s be kind to everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The sad thing is that for the most part the “battle” is women vs women. We should support each other.
      The worst enemies in this eternal fight are ourselves and people that we love that don’t realize that sometimes a comment can hurt more than a physical injury. Comments from strangers, we can learn to shake them off, comments from people we love… damn it’s hard.

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