I wrote a post about smiling some days ago, but I didn’t publish it because I wasn’t sure if I liked it.
Today I randomly found this TED talk, so I united both and here they are.
I’ve always loved to smile.
When I was little I used to smile to people on the bus, and get really angry if they didn’t smile back.
(I also never used to cry while I was being vaccinated, just to angrily stare at the nurse, but that’s another story).
I smile because
- I like it,
- I can and why not,
- I like to see people genuinely smiling back.
I smile also to cover silences. This happens when I don’t know the people around me and their tastes, and since I’m shy I don’t know what to say.
Sunday was a day like that.
I went to volunteer to a one-day TEDx organised in my city. I just knew a girl, and she didn’t work in my same area, so I had to talk and socialize with boys and girls I haven’t ever seen. No topic to talk about, apart from the event and the “where are you from, what do you study” stuff, because I didn’t know which ones to discuss. Of course I didn’t stay in a corner by myself, I communicated a lot and I think it went quite fine, but in my life I’ve always had the impression, also felt by some of my friends, that smiling often is not judged in a good way. I feel people think I’m stupid, naïve or easily broken, and boys think I like them (so pity and/or comtempt come in) just because I’m not serious or doing sarcastic comments all the time.
I feel also that a lot of people don’t like who smiles often because: why the heck are you smiling?! Stop with this stupid sunshine. Yeah, Northerners in Italy are kinda cold.
Anyway, this takes me to a thought I’ve always had, especially persistent when I comfort my friends after hearing phrases like “I will die alone” or “why doesn’t he like me? What’s wrong with me?”, to name a few:
IF A GIRL IS NICE TO YOU AND SMILES TO YOU, THAT DOESN’T MEAN SHE LIKES YOU, SHE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDLY AND MAYBE SHE THINKS YOU’RE COOL.
IF YOU COME TO ME AND START COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW GIRLS ARE SO CRUEL AND DIFFICULT, AND YOU’RE SURROUNDED BY INTERESTING, PLEASANT AND PRETTY GIRLS YOU DON’T EVEN CALCULATE AS FEMALES, I WILL FULMINATE YOU SO MUCH YOU WILL BECOME ASHES.
Nothing happened on Sunday, but I’ve always had the impression that everybody prefers people that don’t smile. 22 years old and I still don’t understand why.
Follow Ed’s advise, and remember