Today I met a wonderful friend that I haven’t seen for a while. We went to a café near the university and ordered two spritzs.
We talked about everything, with the ease that two people who understand each other well do.
She told me she had realised she couldn’t stand close-minded people, and that not standing close-minded people was in a certain way close-minded, but she couldn’t help it. I agreed.
I cannot tolerate who, when I say I have many doubts about religion, persistently tries to convert me;
who, when I express my opinion, shakes his/her head with paternalistic disgust and thinks I’m stupid and/or inferior, because I don’t agree with them;who stays behind the city walls and thinks he/she lives in the best place in the world, avoiding the rot out of the corner of his/her eye;
who doesn’t like to travel, because travelling is really seeing, and living, and leaving pieces of yourself and taking other ones from the road;
who doesn’t have ambition, because who are you without dreams and plans to make them true?;
who doesn’t want to learn, or who thinks he/she already knows enough;
who works and then comes home, sees without watching some stupid tv show and then goes to bed without ever leaving a minimal mark, nine to five just to stay alive, every day, the brain shut down, just caring about the money and the last football match of his favourite team;
who believes to know better than me who to be and what to do with my life;
who is racist, who is sexist;
who believes my ultimate aim in life is to get married and have children and have a career but not so much;
who naïvely thinks I will not notice he/she talks to me just when he/she needs something from me;
who stupidly thinks I will tolerate to be treated badly just because I’m “nice”, because I love them; […].
I realised that I excluded practically all my relatives and a lot of people I know, leaving just few that I really appreciate.
Also that I don’t know why I write this blog, or if I make any sense, but I like to do it.
Today I basically ended a very important friendship (not with the friend I talk about at the beginning, another one, we used to be a trio) because I was tired of being mistreated. I just realised she asked me to explain her why I was being cold, listened to my reasons and told me I was right, but never apologised. I told her that even if I wanted, the relationship would never ever be the same. Being civil doesn’t take anything, but I cannot swallow and move on anymore.
So, what can you not tolerate?